Hold Me Now
by SarahhHarkness-Jones
Summary: Ianto Jones believes he can no longer go on, until he meets a handsome stranger who gives him hope. AU - Jack and Ianto as teenagers, Ianto's POV. Warning: Suicide attempt mentioned.


**Title: Hold Me Now  
****Prompt: Janto AU  
****Spoilers: None  
****Copyright: I do not own Torchwood, Captain Jack Harkness or Ianto Jones.**

It was 6 years ago that I met Jack Harkness. We didn't meet in the most conventional way. We didn't bump into each other and him help me with the books I had dropped. We weren't each sat alone in a café and he came to join me so we both didn't look so lonely. He wasn't the guy that I had been crushing on at school, and he definitely wasn't the boy next door.

No, he was the guy who convinced me not to jump.

I was 14 at the time, stood on the bridge over the vast river that was only a few miles from the house that I lived in. I was all ready to jump. My hands clutching on the railing, the only thing that was keeping me alive. The river flowed rapidly underneath me, the water crashing against the rocks, some of it splashing up so high that it hit my legs. I was about to let go. All my pain would have vanished. Everything would be washed away with the river. I would have been washed away with the river. All the suffering would end, the unwanted-ness and being an outcast. The bullying, the tormenting and constantly being told to do exactly what I was about to do by my peers would all stop. I would finally be at peace.

That was of course until a voice behind me, chuckling slightly said, "You won't do it"

It startled me slightly, and I turned to see the guy who had stopped me from solving all my problems. He was stood there, his tall 6ft frame, in all his glory. He was gorgeous, dark brown hair that was being blown up in the wind and light blue eyes, the colour of the sky on a summer's day. Not the colour of the mucky river that I was about to end my life in.

"And how do you know that?" I had snapped back at him, securing my footing on the ledge, so that I was able to look properly at this man.

"Because I have already been there 3 times in this past week, and if I don't have the courage to do it, then neither do you" he shrugged, the sun shining off the leather jacket he was wearing. He was skinnier then, hardly any muscles, and his clothes were almost hanging off his body.

"You don't know anything about me"

"Ahh, but that is the thing, I do. You don't feel like you're worth it. You thought you had good friends. Everyone left you. You want to escape, and you think that doing this will sort all of that out. It won't, trust me. I know"

"Urgh, whatever. Can you leave please? I'm kind of busy right now" I muttered, turning back around to face the river again.

The sun was setting at the time, illuminating the sky, turning it an orangey purple colour. It was beautiful. Kind of ironic really. The sky so beautiful, as I was about to commit an act so horrible. A beautiful suicide, that is was it would have become.

"Tenner says you don't do it" he said, making his way over to the railing, leaning against it, smirking slightly at me.

"And if I do it, what am I going to do with ten pounds exactly?" I deadpanned, looking over at him with an unamused expression on my face.

"I'll give it to a charity of your choice"

"Give it to the Samaritans, maybe then they can get some counsellors that actually help you when you tell them you're about to jump"

"So you tried the Samaritans? They suck, don't listen to them."

"Erm, obviously" I had sighed, motioning to the position I was standing in with my head.

"So what's your name? When I give my Samaritan donation, I don't exactly want to give it on behalf of 'the guy who jumped', that'd just be awkward" he said grabbing a packet of cigarettes from his pocket, taking one out and placing it in his mouth. He offered me the packet, before putting it back in his pocket and retrieved his lighter. I shook my head in refusal.

"My name is Ianto" I muttered, as my hands began to hurt slightly from holding onto the railing so tightly. Now, I literally was holding on for my life. He lit his cigarette as I told him this, and nodded his head slightly.

I don't know why I had told him my real name, I should have given him a fake name. Maybe things would have turned out differently if I had.

"Jack" he smirked, taking a drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke in front of him.

"That'll kill you, you know"

"Isn't that the whole point?" he chuckled, as if it were some kind of inside joke, "Anyway, what do you care?"

"Just want to make sure my Samaritan donation gets made" I smirked at him, the corner of my lips turning up slightly to form a tiny grin, something that I hadn't done in such a long time. It had felt different. I was beginning to feel different.

"It will, don't worry. Anyway, I have to go somewhere, so I'll come back later to see which of us is short ten pounds." He smirked, and leaned forward, grabbing my face in his large hand, pulling it towards him, and gently pressing his lips to mine. I was confused for a moment, and only when I realised what was happening did he pull away. "Bye Ianto"

A stranger had taken my first kiss. A guy had just taken my first kiss. Now I'd always known I was bisexual, but I always thought I had just found men attractive and that I'd end up with a woman.

What should have happened, was that I would have died happy. I would have died having had my first kiss, from an undoubtedly handsome man. My suffering would have ended, and everything would have been exactly how I had wanted it.

But this guy, this stranger at the time, whoever he was, he was making me question everything. Was killing myself really what I had wanted?

"Jack!" I shouted, keeping a firm grip on the railing. He came to a stop, slowly turning around.

"Yes?" he called out, removing the cigarette from his mouth.

"Help me over"

You see the scary part of dying, isn't dying itself. But it's dying alone, and no one knowing that you're dead. If I had jumped, then that would have come true. I would have died alone. No one knowing that it had happened, until one day my body washed up on shore. A stranger would have been the last person to see me alive, and my last words to another human being would have been 'Just want to make sure my Samaritan donation gets made'. That definitely wasn't how I pictured dying. I had always wanted to go out with more of a bang than that, and my last words to be a lot more meaningful than a comment on a stupid bet made by someone who I had just met.

"How'd you know I wasn't going to jump?" I asked Jack, as he draped his jacket over my shoulders, my body beginning to shiver slightly due to the cold wind that was beginning to pick up.

"I didn't" he told me, taking another drag. "I was hoping that you wouldn't, but if you did, at least you'd go with a smile on your face"

A few years later, when I asked him again if he knew whether I was going to jump or not, he told me he knew I wouldn't do it. He said he could tell by the way I was looking at him, that I had already fallen for him the moment he kissed me. That of course was Jack's overly arrogant and cocky reply, but it was true. I had fallen for him, despite the fact I'd only just met him. That's the thing with Jack Harkness, no matter what he does you will always love him in one way or another.

"So, does this have anything to do with the fact that tomorrow is Valentines Day?" he asked, leaning his head against the bridge's railing, as we sat on the concrete ground.

"A little, and the girl who was going to be my date cancelled on me"

"Right, well come on Ianto," he jumped up, offering his hand out to me, "Tomorrow, you and me are going out on a date."

Jack had saved me from jumping. He had restarted my life for me. He literally was the reason I am still alive today.

How do you even begin to thank someone for that?

I loved how sure he was of himself, how sure he was of me not being straight. He was a breath of fresh air, something that was desperately needed in my life. He was fun, exciting and dangerous, and he wanted me. Even if at the time he only wanted my companionship, it was still something. He still wanted to be with me. He wanted to spend time with me, which at that point in my life, hadn't happened in a very long time.

The next day, Valentines Day, Jack took me out on a date. He didn't know anything about me, he didn't know how old I was, my full name, where I lived. Absolutely nothing. And I didn't know anything about him. I don't know why I did, but I trusted him. Maybe it was because he knew what it was like to find yourself on that ledge. I finally had someone who knew the sorts of things I was going through, and didn't just pretend like they did.

He told me to meet him on that bridge at 2 in the afternoon, and to dress casually. He took me to a Carnival not far out of town. Despite being with a complete stranger, someone who had stopped me doing exactly what I had wanted to do, it was the greatest day of my 14 years of existence. We went on the rides, spent an unbelievable amount of money in the arcade, he won me a giant penguin teddy, and we ate candy floss. He then took me to a small Café, just a few minutes of walking from the Carnival, and then we talked. Well, he talked and I listened. He told me all about himself, his depression, why he had found himself on the ledge 3 times before that week and the fact that he was there at the bridge because he was about to do the exact same thing as me, but I had given him some hope again. Just like he had given me.

Jack's life was even more messed up than mine was. His parents got divorced when he was 10, his father got custody and he had to move from America because his mother didn't want him. His dad abused him everyday until he was 14, when he was then sent to life with his grandparents, who didn't want him either, so when he was 16, and could legally leave home, he up and left. The worse thing I believe was that both his parents had more children, and loved them dearly, but not Jack. They never loved him. I could never understand why they didn't though, with such as wonderful caring son as Jack, how could they not love him?

"I want to be an actor" he had told me, picking up the ketchup bottle and covering his bacon sandwich in it, "I mean I got good grades in school and everything, and I passed all my exams, but acting is just something I have always wanted to do. And singing, I love singing. And dancing. Everything that is to do with show business, I just love it all. And yes, before you ask I am gay. I know, the leather jacket and show business stuff makes it kind of obvious. But I don't do this for every guy I meet, just the nice ones. The ones who aren't just after sex and nothing else. Do you get me?"

Jack was crazy. Absolutely, positively crazy. And not in the crazy way that I was, no he was the good kind of crazy.

"By the way, you owe me a tenner" he had grinned at me.

"We didn't shake on it"

"No, we kissed on it" he smirked at me, taking a huge bite out of his sandwich. Despite the fact he ate like an absolute slob, he still managed to remain attractive.

That was quite possibly the best ten pounds I had ever spent.

"Will you be my boyfriend?" a little while, and another bacon sandwich engulfed by Jack, later he asked.

"We met less than 24 hours ago, how can you ask me that? You know nothing about me. How do you even know I'm gay?"

"You're bi, obviously. You weren't disgusted when I kissed you, you are willingly on a date with me, but you had mentioned a girl who cancelled. Anyway, I know that you have done something that no one before ever has"

"And what is that?" I asked, confused picking up a cold chip from my plate, and nibbling on it.

"You stopped me from climbing over that ledge"

"You don't even know how old I am"

"And? Age is but a number dear" he told me smirking, "I may be 18, but I still act like a child"

"Jack, if you dated me it'd be illegal"

"Why, you're not 10 are you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I knew he was only kidding, but this was serious. He was legally an adult.

"Not that young, no. But I am 14, and that makes me still a child"

"And? So there's four years difference between us." He shrugged, "There was ten years between my parents, and seven between my grandparents"

"You don't just want to date me so that I don't end up on that ledge again do you?"

"Hey, if you want to do that, it's up to you. It's your life, I don't own you. Like you said, we met less than 24 hours ago. However, you do make me smile. And I don't act like this around everyone you know. I just think, if you were my boyfriend, then we'd have to get to know each other, and I won't just be that guy that stopped you from jumping."

"No, you'll be that guy that I lost a tenner to" I chuckled, "Okay, yes then I'll be your boyfriend"

My first boyfriend. My first proper relationship, and it was with a guy who had stopped me from jumping. A guy who I had only met 24 hours before he asked me out.

"Good, because if you had said no then I would have stalked you until you said yes"

6 years later, we're still together. Neither of us any longer depressed, and both happier than ever before. Meeting on that bridge undoubtedly changed our lives for the better.

Everyone has their Guardian Angel, mine just happened to come in the form of a handsome American man.

**_fin_**

**A/N: This was originally part of another story that I had wrote, completely unrelated to Torchwood, which I decided to alter for Jack and Ianto. I still like my original, but I think this works better as a stand-alone one shot.**


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